For two years running, The Reverb Syndicate have been ever-so-fortunate to be invited to play at Barnstorm. Last year the Soviet Sisters were able to come along, but this year we were one down and when there's only two of you, that's noticeable. So I didn't dance the show. But after the set our contingent headed over to the Chill Out Barn where we did get to dancing. I was mid-dance when I realised that this sort of dance breakout is going to be a rare event for me in the coming months. It takes a particular sort atmosphere and carefully curated participants to all get their groove on over the same music in the right mood for the night. We had that last night and I'm thankful. The ease with which this occurs in my Ottawa life will be harder to come by in my London life.
I've been thinking a lot about friends and friendships lately as I realise I may see the end of many of the more tenuous connections in my life with this move. I haven't tried as hard as I should with my friends. It's a trait I think I've picked up from my family: during my childhood my mother always had work friends and then a string of one-at-a-time supernova friendships that burned bright and strong then completely disappeared. My father might have other friends, but I really only know of one constant outside of the workplace and, even then, I'm not sure how often they're in contact. Both of my parents have cultivated strong relationships with our family, though, so please don't take this to mean they are hermits. And in the ten years since I've lived at home, I know they've expanded their circles quite a bit, but that's not the example I grew up around. Bearing this in mind, I see now that I didn't pick up the skills I think are necessary to really build and foster a friendship with my peers.
Yes, I have friends. I even have some great friends and some whom I'd consider to be quite close. But I don't put the right amount of effort into them and so I haven't done them justice. It used to make me very sad, but now I have lived with it for so long and have adapted my definition of "friend" to such an extent that I don't feel sad, though I do wish to improve on my efforts. In this one area, however, I have been incredibly lucky as two of our friends have impeccable taste in friends. This sounds a bit odd, I know, but they're masters. They've constructed an amazing group of wonderful people with solid characteristics and warm personalities that all support and encourage each other. Through contact with them, I've been able to share in this group and have had some of my most fun and memorable moments with these people. It was this group that I was dancing with last night and it's this group that I'm going to miss getting to know better in the coming couple of years.
I don't see my connections to this group as tenuous enough to break irreparably, but I do know that I'll lose others. This is a loss I'm willing to accept as I know I can have a direct impact on who gets lost in the shuffle and who stays the course. My brief sojourn abroad will give me a crash course in friendship-making and I look forward to making it work.
