I need to be more mediocre and why we can't hire a cleaner

It hit me this past Sunday that I would feel a lot less responsible for the upkeep of our home if I could convince myself to be a little more mediocre. No, seriously. Hear me out. I had a few hours on Sunday before the games started up again so I set about to do some cleaning. James, in his own way, attempted to help. There isn't a huge amount of ground to cover in this flat, so in his mind it wouldn't take very long. Meanwhile, I look at both bedrooms, the living room, the kitchen and the bathroom and I know the real story. This is a monster to clean, especially given how lax I'd been in the preceding two or three days. We set to work and, as I have my own routine for cleaning, I gave James some tasks that would lighten my load, but wouldn't give him too much and, to be fair, weren't tasks I would cringe at and have to redo on my own once he'd finished.

Before you start raising objections that James is very capable of cleaning and I should cut him some slack, know that I'm probably a more thorough cleaner than he will ever hope to be and that it isn't his fault. He just wasn't raised by my family. So as he's trundling about doing whatever task I politely requested, I'm bulldozing through the rooms doing a fanatic job of vacuuming every surface (how is that not a recognized verb??). He walks by me at one point and notices the TV remote might be in my way, so he helpfully moves it to one of the side coffee tables. Immediately I correct him,

Me: "That can't go there"
James: (confused look)
Me: "I haven't vacuumed (again, not a verb...why!?) that yet"
James: "You're going to vacuum the coffee tables??"
Me: "Well, yes, but with the dusting attachment, not the floor brush" (Insert the "well, duh" voice)
James: (stunned look) "Can I put it on the dining room table?"
Me: "Of course, I don't vacuum the dining room table - that's silly!"

The dining room table, in fact, is cleaned using other methods.

What this all means is that I can't hire a cleaner. And again, before you get all nasty with me, know that since moving here I've found that hiring a cleaner is incredibly normal, even for renters with seemingly available time for doing such things as scrubbing their own toilets. More to my point, however, are questions such as, will the cleaner do the baseboards EVERY TIME? Will they vacuum the couch in a manner that restores it to near-new conditions? Will they use the dusting attachment to clean the lampshades on the bedside tables and then use the crease tool to vacuum inside the wall sconces? I highly doubt they will. And if they do, how much am I going to have to pay for that sort of methodical work?

If I were willing to accept a more mediocre standard, I'd be a-ok with mediocre work. But as it is, I can't. For better or worse, I cannot settle in this or any other such matters.